#4weeksoflove Week 4 last one...

#4weeksoflove

Today is the final day in February 2015.

What an amazing journey of love this month.

I write this post from a hospital room. My precious father in law who is 95 years old is in the hospital with a diagnosis of malignancy that has metastasized throughout his body. His wife of 70 years passed away in October of 2013 and he has been lonely ever since.

The love they shared together was amazing and I often reflect over their relationship and how they were committed to each other no matter the situation. This practice is not so prevalent in times of today. More often we see multiple marriages and divorce.  Instead of fighting for a relationship we give up easily.

Love, what a concept. What does love mean to you?

Reflect over the #4weeksoflove posts and think about the meaning of love in your life.

One of my goals is to demonstrate love to others in every interaction.

I am convinced that love is the answer to our woes.

Love Always,
NurseNicelyRN

Adventures in Jordan #4weeksoflove

#4weeksoflove

Week 3

I arrived back into the United States of America yesterday morning (February 24, 2015) from my trip to Aqaba, Jordan. I was in Jordan to present alongside my research partners for the Middle Eastern Nurses & Partners Uniting in Human Caring Conference. The mission of the conference is to promote the practice and application of Caring Science/Caring Theory, translating theory into concrete ethical and evidence-informed approaches for self and others (http://watsoncaringscience.org/education-programs/intro-to-human-caring/middle-eastern-nurses-project/). My research team and I presented over our research study The Lived Experience of Incivility in Nursing Education. The picture below is Jean Watson opening the day and we were the first presenters on Saturday of the conference schedule (that is our presentation displayed on the screen behind Jean Watson).

The conference was an amazing awakening into the human caring experience for myself. I never imagined my life experiences would have evolved to a place and time as being in Jordan with one of the great nursing theorists. Let alone the great nursing theorist who is responsible for the theory of caring in nursing. Phenomenal! 

There are so many experiences that I could share on this blog about my experience, but I will focus on "love" since this is #4weeksoflove. So here are a few things I learned in Aqaba, Jordan about love...

1. Love is universal. Love is a language that transcends every border, boundary, being, language, culture, tribe, country, region, continent, and any other word you could find describing separations. What does this mean? Maybe you are thinking there are words for love in every language or culture, but that is not what I'm trying to describe. How do you demonstrate love to others who do not speak your language. I was thinking about how the people in Jordan and everyone at the conference could feel love from me, how could I show my love to them, how would they know? The one thing that came to mind was a smile. A smile can transcend every border and a smile can show love. I smiled a lot in Jordan.

2. Love as a caring nurse. There were many presentations from nurses all over the Middle Eastern regions and as I listened and learned, what came to mind was the foundation of caring in every nurse. It is one thing to go to work every day and care (action form) for those who are sick and help mend them back to health or to a better state of being, it is another thing to be in conscious awareness of caring as the fundamental essential for being a nurse. Caring for humanity, this is the type of caring which crosses every barrier and this caring begins with love. I had an epiphany while at the conference, that a caring nurse can love and care for anyone no matter the barrier, boundary, being, language, tribe, culture, country, or region because love and caring is universal. Humanity can receive love and caring. The epiphany was that I could love and care for any human because I have knowledge and training as a nurse and of the human system, but, more importantly, I have found the true source of love within my heart.

3. Love begins from within. There is a place within each of us where love lives and it is in the heart. Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted for saying "to handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." What I know is true is that one must first know what love is before they can demonstrate love to others. I had to find out what love was before I could demonstrate it to anyone else. This was not easy for me and it took many years of my life to be comfortable with love. I cannot be selective of who I love because then barriers are created-love has no barriers. A challenge for myself and others is to find and continue the source of love in your life and the rest will come naturally.

Love is so amazing. God is Love.

At the conference in Jordan, there was discussion about world peace and during this discussion one of the words that kept coming up was...guess...yep, LOVE!

How can you demonstrate love in your environment? 

Love always,

NurseNicelyRN 

This picture is of me and my research partners from Oklahoma City University (Carie Strauch, Staci Swim and Vanessa Wright) creating a caring circle in the Red Sea in Aqaba, Jordan. Love.

Valentine's Day #4weeksoflove

Happy Valentine's Day

#4weeksoflove 

Week 2

What an amazingly beautiful day. I took advantage of an opportunity to sit and soak up some of the rays of sunshine. Felt so amazing. The weather is supposed to change tomorrow with some winter weather heading this way. The joys of living in Oklahoma. If you don't like the weather in Oklahoma just wait a while because it will change. It will.

Today, I noticed a marquee on one of the local churches and it read, "Love, not time, heals all wounds." Wow. This is pretty powerful if you think about it. What I begin to think about was nursing, health care and wounds. Physiological wounds do need "time" to regenerate at a cellular level for healing. What about the wounds that are not seen?

We are not able to see the hurt within others and sometimes these wounds are the most damaging. So on this topic of love I wanted to think about how nurses can be better lovers. Not that kind of lover...the lovers of others in caritas type caring. Caritas means the Christian love of humankind. Jean Watson, the nursing theorist who is responsible for the theory of transpersonal caring, posits, "love as an ethic" and ontology as the starting point for nursing's existence, broad societal mission, and the basis for caring-healing practices" (Watson, 2005; George, 2011, pp. 455). Love is necessary for healing. Healing of the physiological and psychosocial AND nurses are ambassadors for administering this kind of love in our practice. So, let us practice being better lovers.

Tuesday I will be leaving to head to Aqaba, Jordan. Jean Watson is hosting the Watson Caring Science and Middle Eastern Nurses Uniting in Human Caring conference and my research partners and I have been blessed with the opportunity to present research on Incivility in Nursing at this conference. Way cool huh? So, the next post will be filled with stories about my adventures. Talk to you soon.

Love Always,
NurseNicelyRN

Watson, J. (2005). Caring science as sacred science. Philadelphia, PA: F.A. Davis.

George, J. B. (2011). Nursing Theories: The base for professional nursing practice (6th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.

#4weeksoflove Week 1

"4 Weeks of Love"

Week 1

This week I want to share about caring in the workplace. I have been in both roles when it comes to workplace bullying. I have been a perpetrator and I have been a victim. Both roles are horrible, but being a victim has potential effects that can linger for a lifetime. More importantly, being the perpetrator is unacceptable.

Since this is February and we celebrate Valentine's Day and it is the American Heart Association's "Heart Month," I wanted to spend this month talking about how caring makes a difference in your environment.

Caring is defined as displaying kindness and concern for others (dictionary.com). Nursing is considered a caring profession. There has been a lot of discussion in the nursing world about violence and bullying in nursing. How is it that there is so much violence in nursing?

Are nurses so stressed that the only way to relieve this stress is to be violent to others? Is there not enough education provided on how to be caring to others? Do we tolerate this behavior and therefore violence has gotten worse?

All of the aforementioned can contribute to the problem. Let me share with you a few ways to diminish the hate and share the love. May we practice caring in our environment.

1. Be nice. Isn't this what our parents told us to do? Being nice to others can make a difference for everyone. When we are nice, others around us tend to be nice too, and if they are not nice then it is not a problem with us but with them. See, we can only control our own behavior so if your co-worker is being hateful, maybe he or she needs to see what nice looks like and you can be that example
. Go ahead, I dare you to be nice to your coworkers for three days and see what happens. Be nice even if they are not nice.

2. No tolerance. There is no reason to allow someone to be mean to you. Have you ever heard of the saying that people will treat you the way you allow them to treat you? So if you allow a person to be mean to you then people will be mean to you. DO NOT ACCEPT this behavior from anyone. This probably seems challenging, like how can I stop people from being mean to me? First, you have to tell them. Some people really do not know they are being mean and once they are aware of this most people will change their behavior. If this behavior does not change and continues, there are steps to be taken through the chain of command to notify superiors of this behavior. This too is very challenging, but if someone doesn't stand up for what is right we will continue down this path of violence.

3. Do not allow the behavior to destroy your spirit. Know who you are and who's you are...if you are a child of God use your light to shine on the darkness in your world and environment. Pray and know that God can do all things, even change a toxic environment. This world is hurting enough and we cannot stand by and allow this behavior to continue. Nurses reach people during some of the most highest and lowest points in their lives. I believe God has placed us on Holy ground when we care for others who are hurting. Let us not allow a toxic environment to destroy this honored position.

Be blessed and look for week 2 of #4weeksoflove next week.

Love Always,
NurseNicelyRN